My loving caring mother who supported my transition who told me that being an old woman was going to be harder than an old man died in my lap last night-- i broke down as my world collapsed around me with nothing left but sorrow and a very cold inside' like i was freezing she was such a beautiful woman and a RN who loved that young people were transitioning to be themselves and she felt this way since the 60's but she could not tell me then because of a husband who was a bad ass and…Read More
I sit with my mother one last time as she lay dying pls pray for her so she can go to heaven and me so i can survive I am not sure I am going to make it I dont know what to do anymore the nurse gave her morphine just wish could do more shell shocked and sick mentally and physically
thank you Lyndsey Catherine Rush
This past Friday we had a meeting with our therapist,we talked about hurrican's and how we create them or jump into other hurricane's that others might create.It was so appropriate.The night before our meeting my mind went wild had nightmares of a rape that has haunted me for 42 yrs.I wont go into that,but the fear that was involved in the dream and where it went from there was wild.
The dream went to me being alone,as I am moving to Wisconsin at the end of this month and moving…Read More
You know those Funniest Home Videos, the kind that never win, that feature a douchebag trying to skateboard down a railing and ends up rupturing a testicle? Through no fault of my driver, the ride to the B&B felt like that. Last we checked in, I was ousted from the hospital like so much riff-raff even though I was under medical orders not to travel and in need of constant care. I’m not sure why I didn’t pick up on this before, but there seems to be a little oopsie in an otherwise…Read More
I had an experience this past week that I would like to share with you. It does not reflect the best of me, though it turned out well. I think the lesson I took from this is one worth sharing because anyone can benefit from it. It is a lesson that has been repeated frequently, if not almost weekly since I made the decision to complete my transition over the past 6 years or so. It occurs so often now that in many ways I have begun to take it for granted. It is the more poignant…Read More
My purpose is to put out fires; My purpose is to be there when needed;
My purpose is to carry those that need carrying;
My purpose is not to complain for I was made for a purpose
; My purpose is to sit in the firehouse all shiny looking and new with not a speck of dirt anywhere to tarnish the image of being a capable engine
My purpose is to stay healthy and fit
; My purpose is to not to worry about who is at the wheel for I am an engine;My purpose is to be…Read More
Everything I had been taught up to this day has failed. I wonder how deep I have to dig to find myself Lyndsey you are and yet bubba you are too. Mom has little recognition of anyone but it does matter now. How I find myself and my longing for old friends but they are gone now. Who are you Lyndsey? I am me and he for I cannot deny my fledgling past either. As my mom passes into the night I wonder how this onederful lady as seen me. What did she see did she see a daugher, I will never know…Read More
Last Sunday, I happened to be in Chimney Rock, NC, and needed to use the public restroom next to the entry gate to the park. Upon entering I realized that none of the stall doors were capable of latching and, for the stall I was in, there was a 2" gap (the door didn't even engage the stop - it had become a bi-directional swing door!) I thought to myself, "another in the list of reasons that I'm glad I'm post-op!"
Last night I realized that I had made a mistake with my dilation routine…Read More
OK, before I continue on my thrilling tale of my surgical experience, I need to set the record straight. It seems some think that I had some kind of unusual terrible experience. This is not at all what I’m trying to say. I don’t do a lot of whiney “oh heavens, cry for me” type posts, and when I do, you will know about it. You’ll bawl like a kid who dropped his chocolate twisty cone into a pile of dog poop. At least with vanilla you can pick the gross bits off if you like. I am, however,…Read More
Hello to all' hope things are well in your life. Been awhile since my last post and wanted to touch base with and tell what is good and not so good. First I am so thankful for my amazing family. They are really doing their best to support me. They let me know that they truly love me and are behind me as hard as it is for them lose what they have known as their dad. I am proceeding slowly but still making good progress. I am getting read as female when out more and more. Have been on HRT.…Read More
I'm looking for a therapist who might be able to help my brother understand who I am. He is very open to seeking a therapist who understands gender dysphoria and gender identity disorder. If possible he is looking for someone in the Duluth, Lawrenceville, Buford area. Any help would be much appreciated as it will help bring our family back together.
First, I want to thank PINKessence for accepting me as part of your family. When I came across the site I was excited, but had to come back a few be fore applying.
I'm an over 60 gal, who, after many clothing binges and purges, have given up fighting to be what society calls normal and accept myself for who I truly am. And that is Mary. Like many, I knew from an early age I was not a typical boy. While I didn't get the opportunity to play with girl toys (my sister is 6yrs older…Read More
I was very surprised when I haven't found my name in the desk of the birthday announcement. I thought that maybe I've forgotten when I was born. But no. Today is the 1st of December and it's really my birthday.
Last night I watched a TV program documenting the plight of girls with anorexia and bulimia. The program followed several young women through a Florida based clinical intervention program. Most of the girls were at about 80# when they arrived. Some wanted help, some didn’t and those who didn’t went around sneakily undermining the efforts of the program’s psychiatrists, doctors and nurses. The TV program continued to follow these girls after they returned…Read More
We - my parents, my wife, and myself - celebrated Thanksgiving today (Saturday, November 30,) due to my wife's work schedule. She works a 3-2-2 7a-7p schedule so had to work Thursday and Friday and, thus, couldn't join us in the actual holiday.
I'm most thankful for an e-mail message from my brother suggesting we meet for lunch when he is in town visiting my parents next month. I haven't seen him at all for two years and for all practical purposes for three years. His wife did not…Read More
Added by Danielle White on November 30, 2013 at 4:01pm — No Comments
As you can see I don't write many blogs, so I thought it was about time I put something in writing. Again, mainly to ask a question.
What are your views on short hair?
My SO (gorgeous wife) has had short hair for years. She hasn't got the softest features & is tall (nearly 6') but carries it off brilliantly. Therefore I am very envious of her...!!! My job requires me to have short(ish) hair so I'm pretty constrained to what I can do with my own. Besides I must admit to…Read More
I was just wondering what the options were for permant hair removel. I want to look into a home lazer but I would like to get one that is effective at as little cost as possable.The Flash-N-go sounds good but it's pritty expncive @ about $ 300.00 Is that the best deal or is there a cheeper system that is effective ?
Although I have had many extremely unhappy Thanksgivings in my life, this day has always been my favorite holiday because of the traditional meaning of the day. It is a reflection of my profound faith as a Christian and it is the time of year, along with Christmas where I am focused on the many things I have to be thankful for and not thinking of the difficult things I have come to terms with that have happened in recent years.…Read More
What is a lady to do when this condition exists; I have never really gone into the public with a makeover or dresses because I tend to think I will not pass and be ridiculed as being a man in drag, I do pass at a distance however just don't get too close or I will wind up being clocked and anyone with me as well will be embarrassed and do I have to get facial fem sugery before I really go out in other words do I have to wait until then because there are so many pretty ladies out there that…Read More
11/25/13 Had my first session today with Laura. All the work I did to seek out and find a good therapist seems well worth it now, she really is great and a good fit for my personality. The session was really just to get to know each other a bit, so no actual work got done. Just the idea of going to a therapist to begin this journey is exciting and little scary to me. But despite the fear and anxiety I will continue on and do what needs to be done for my happiness.