Susan Michelle Elleman commented on Joanna's blog post What now?
Joanna commented on Joanna's blog post What now?
Susan Michelle Elleman commented on Joanna's blog post What now?
Joanna left a comment for Katherine Abbott
Joanna commented on Michelle Wolf's blog post Gender Dysphoria is a Real Bummer
Joanna commented on Joanna's blog post What now? Posted on May 9, 2013 at 1:08pm 17 Comments 7 Likes
I now know that my cross gender behaviour has always been about internal identity instead of arousal. This is all the more apparent as I age. As any elements of eroticism wane, the identity gains increasingly in strength. The identity was strong in the early years then became confused during the turbulent middle years but of late it is back with a clear focus. That identity, in fact, never left me but I merely decided to ignore and suppress its existence in order to try and “fix”…
Read MorePosted on April 26, 2013 at 7:30am 5 Comments 4 Likes
I’m now in the process of contrasting the separate lives I am currently leading both as a male and as a female. The contrast is quite stark.
I feel that I am more peaceful, happy and jovial as Joanna. I am less brooding and there is less to think about in terms of how to be perceived or how to behave in public so that I appear male. I communicate more freely with others and think less about posturing with a male facade. I think it feels more like how I was meant to be.
But I am…
Read MorePosted on April 23, 2013 at 8:00am 10 Comments 3 Likes
It’s funny how I am becoming more emotional these days. Everything has been magnified.
I cry more easily but I also anger more easily. But it’s not anger from internal rage or depression it’s just that life tastes fuller to me because I experience it with a fuller palette which is available to me now.
When you have disphoria it’s like living life under a cloud which dampens everything. Simply dealing with it in more concrete ways has made all the difference in the world to…
Read MorePosted on March 28, 2013 at 9:47am 9 Comments 2 Likes
I wonder in retrospect just how much I suffered from a type of low grade depression during my life. When you have gender issues that you are not tending to or ignoring, there is a type of fog that you are constantly under except you don’t want to acknowledge it in hopes that it will simply go away. Attempting to suppress these feelings undoubtedly plays a part in stunting your emotional health.
I only know this now in contrasting how I feel today. I have a far healthier outlook on…
Read More
Jennifer Reed said… Dearest Joanna: Didn't mean to be obtuse. My idea of "mischief" centers on maybe having lunch or coffee with a mind toward getting to know a really fascinating and special soul (which I believe that you are). (and OK -- maybe a little fun shopping afterward, too.) Love,Jennifer
Erica Copeland said… I love your new profile picture! Have a great day luv :)
Jennifer Reed said… Dearest Joanna: I can just envision your pretty self running around in Montreal in that green summer-y dress and heels. I wish we lived closer together -- I know that you and I could get into some feminine mischief!
Love,
Jennifer
Charlene V. Steele said… Joanna, oh my goodness, your new avatar is sooo refreshingly pretty. And I am so greenish with envy. :)
Crissy Greene said… Is that a new profile pic Joanna?......You look Wonderful & that is a great color for you!
Julia Giannopoulos said… I'm doing well thank you sweetheart. :O) You look simply knock down gorgeous in your avatar photo Joanna.
Susan Michelle Elleman said… Dear Joanna: You are very welcome, but at the same time I have to thank you for your inspiration. When I read what you have written I can identify with it so much. It is as if we went through a very similar process. In my case I was at home with my mother and three sisters, and I identified with them as a group. We moved a lot so I played with them, dressed like them, and was interested in the same things. But as I grew, so did my confusion and my isolation as I was forced more and more into male social roles. Then I suppressed it like you, and my reawakening was similar to yours. As I read your story, it sounds so much like what I went through. I can definitely relate. It makes me feel good that it was not "Just me" and no one else. I say this from a position where I am so comfortable with my womanhood, and so at peace with who I really am. Hugs. Love, Susan.
Susan Michelle Elleman said… Dear Joanna: Thank you so much for inviting me to be a contact. You look beautiful, you have such great taste in clothing. Again thank you so much. Hugs. Love, Susan.
Crissy Greene said… Hello Joanna, I've seen you on here & read many of your posts but kept neglecting to drop you a message?.........So here I am to wish you a happy day & hope you are doing well.......bye for now,
Crissy
Charlene V. Steele said… Joanna, thank you for the friendship invite. I so long for a connection with others who do more than accept that I am trans, but really understand me as a trans person. I have been blessed with numerous friends who have willingly accepted the male me who is trans. I fear they would not be so receiving if I "pushed" the real / female me on them.
It is my hope that here real people can help me to be as real as I know and long myself to be. Your interest in reaching out as a friend is deeply appreciated. Such care means so much to me at this particular time in my life. Thank you.
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