True Congruency

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Nancy Wichmann on April 13, 2010 at 9:26pm

I think you are probably right. I do pretty good with my self-image and confidence until I have to go to the bathroom or take a bath. At those moments, I feel just a tiny bit of a setback. I sure wish I could afford my surgery now.

Permalink Reply by elan dora nogle on April 14, 2010 at 6:40pm

i can say i have had the same feelings in my journey
i had nose, both lips, chin,cheeks,brow lift,forehead lowering, full face lift, both eyes,breast implants, tracial shave, voice surgury,orchi, since january 27, i had 3 weeks of recovery in thailand and am still doing swome healing now,
i have had some good news as my dr gave me my letter for srs, which i have set for november 2 of this year and it has been a good feeling ever time i get closer to my womanhood, yes my drivers license and passport say female but until i get there ther is still that thing nagging at me
congradulations on your journey

elan nogle

Permalink Reply by Jenny on May 22, 2010 at 2:51am

wow Rachel, so well written from the heart and what your body felt and not your mind interfearing

what you have said is so right, i will never feel complete until i have my SRS, you are always reminded of who you were and to a point who you are every time you shower or go to the toilet.

i am the same as you my age is against me, so i am trying to get things done as soon as possible, as i want to enjoy the rest of my life, what is left of it as the woman i should have been at birth.

i am so glad that you have written this blog, it does give us pre op girls an insite into what a beuitfull life we can look forward to, thank you.

Jenny

Permalink Reply by Rachel King on May 22, 2010 at 3:08am

Hi Jenny, those on the wrong side of the world are all asleep now, so I'll stop and say gidday.
Another month on and I have found so many changes happening within me.
I always believed that GRS was right for me but even in my optimism, I couldn't have imagined the totality of those changes.
I would state now, that for all the rhetoric here, only with GRS can one attain true congruency.
I felt like a woman, pre-op but it WAS a different feeling to what I feel now.
I have been wanting to blog about it but as you see here, I still can't describe adequately the difference that "THE OPERATION" does to you.
One day I might find the words.
I hope so, as it has such incredible significance in changing your life.
Good wishes in your journey,
Rachel

Permalink Reply by Nancy Wichmann on May 22, 2010 at 10:11am

Rachel, I also appreciate these insights. I am trying to arrange my trip to Suporn within a year.

I wish you would blog away about this just as fast as you can. Perhaps later you can go back and "clean it up." One thing I have discovered in my transition is that the longer I am in to it, te harder it is to recall how I used to live when I was petending to be a man. I can't remember the pain and hardships that I felt then. I can't remember how hard it was for me just to get through another day not being able to be me. It's all fading fast. I suppose that's good, but I am being called on now to speak on being TG, and these losses of memory are not good for that.

I always thought of daily diaries (or blogs) as a pain, but now I can see some utility to them. I encourage you to write as much as you can about what's going on. Later on you can come back and weed out the things that are insignificant (when you can much better judge that) and highlight the things that are quite significant. You might even find a book in there somewhere.

Permalink Reply by Rachel King on May 22, 2010 at 10:39am

Thank you for the encouragement, Nancy.
This is such an important topic, I wish to do it right or not at all
Most post-ops have had enough of being "put through the wringer" and only wish to peacefully see to their well-being as the new person they are.
I will offend some when I write this, I will inspire some I hope, but most of all, I will teach something and learning is what it is all about.
"Only through ignorance, can they keep us shackled.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Wichmann on May 22, 2010 at 10:54am

Indeed, Rachel your quote is the operative phrase here. "Only through ignorance, can they keep us shackled."

I think that's one of the reasons why Massachusetts is leading the country in openness. With so many schools here, there is a higher than normal level of desire for learning, and that carries over into other areas than what someone is studying. Consequently, the people here probably have a slightly higher curiousity about us and therefore a lower fear level. I thank God every day for bringing me here so that I could grow with much less bigotry pointed at me. I am becoming a much stronger woman much faster than I could have down in the Carolinas where I grew up and began my transition.

I do find it interesting that many in our community don't even understand our "condition." Knowledge is power and I aim to be "Empress of the Universe" :-)

I am not yet post-op, but aspire to be. To say that I have never questioned my desire would be a lie, and I suspect that is true of every one of us. But, I find that reading these stories, both good and bad, arms me with the knowledge to go forward towards the best outcome I can achieve.

Keep writing. Those who don't want knowledge aren't going to read it. Those of us who do are going to drink every drop. If we are not occasionally offended, then perhaps we should read it again.

Permalink Reply by Marsha M. Marsha on September 7, 2011 at 12:53pm

Nancy, I agree with Massacusetts. Speaking from a Bay State educated girl I was amazed at how much people in other parts of the U.S. did not know as I travelled throughout this great land and I attribute that to a good public education in Massachusetts. We have led the way many times in this country including having the first tax supported public schools and I would hope they would lead again in transgender education.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Wichmann on September 7, 2011 at 12:58pm

Well, I know the policy of the Boston Public Schools is that until we officially become a "protected class," they won't do any more than is now done. This is just one more reason why we need the state to add T to LGB.

Permalink Reply by Brenda Brook on March 2, 2012 at 11:01pm

Hi Rachel

Well I am  4 months post op. Congruency yes I believe I am achieving it. I feel much different, I smell different, my body sensations are different, when I talk,walk sit eat all different. Sometimes I feel like Alice in Wonderland. I am so happy that I am complete I could cry with joy. I could cry because of all the wasted years. One thing I know my life is before me bright  and beautiful with joys and sorrows to be face and experience in full by Brenda; not behind the mask that I had created and hid behind.

Permalink Reply by Rachel King on March 3, 2012 at 12:02am

Hi Brenda,

It's lovely to hear from you.

I haven't re-visited this blog for a long time and it's funny that you should bring up how your feelings have changed in this blog, at this time.

I have been asking myself a lot of questions of late but one question that never enters my mind is, regrets.

There are none, not a single one.

My mind and body are now aligned and one of my questions is often, why did I wait so long, but of course I know that circumstances determined that, so it is a completely rhetorical question and not one of self-recrimination.

I hope that those who are genuine in their desire to transition will read your and my words and realise that the congruency they may feel, is nothing to what lays ahead of them, if they find the courage to fulfill their destiny.

I betcha Nancy doesn't have those "seback" feelings anymore, either.

Funnily enough, nearly 2 years on, I can't think of anything I would change on this blog.

I feel even more complete now than 1 month after surgery and I no longer have that amazement of what it is really like to be a woman physically, although I am finding new ways to physically enjoy my womanhood, hahaha.

The argument of congruence will always be there and only those who have surgery will be able to say," Yes you are different." but I would add, in my nearly 3 years on Pe, I have never yet read of a person post- surgery who has expressed one regret.

That is recommendation in itself.

 

I am so pleased you are enjoying life Brenda.

Now you finally understand what I have been trying to explain.

2 years on, I still don't have the right words.

I wonder why..........

Is it so unexplainable?

Permalink Reply by Marsha M. Marsha on March 12, 2012 at 12:27pm

Rachel, I see you have joined the ranks of those disguising thier identity, " is the real Rachel King, girl number 1, girl number 2 or girl number three?"

I am not usually at a loss for words but I simply feel more like myself since having SRS, GRS, GCS or whatever one calls it. I had no quantim leap into nirvana awakening from surgery. I just knew everything would be fine. After the unpacking and healing the realization that I am me, finally, came daily in small increments. Andrea has noticed it and from her own mouth she has told me, "it's amazing, everyday you are more a woman than the day before." I am not exactly sure what she means but I just feel it.and apparently it is evident from the view of others.

No regrets.